woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
