Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
