Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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