We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
