Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
