Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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