Plan B is the new Plan A
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
