yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The best revenge is premature balding
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
