JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have aggressive nipples.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
