Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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