I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
