we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
