Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
