honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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