Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
