Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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