i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The adults are the big ones right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
