ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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