he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
