mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
