there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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