We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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