You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
