he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
