New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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