i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
