I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
