I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
