I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
