Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
