no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh god the rape fog is back!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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