I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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