Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
