i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We have started to decorate penises.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
