I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
