I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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