my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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