"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
