I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
