OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
