im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
