I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
