my mouth tastes like poor choices
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
