i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
