Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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