battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
