we're blogging at a bar
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
