Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
