she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
