think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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