Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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